Locked Hearts and Hand Grenades
by rocca12
Summary: Set after London Calling, loosely based on the next event in the show, few changes added ; Michael is back in Nikita's life after a year of absence. Will they be able to get back to the past? Or are they different people now? R&R!
1. All That You Can't Leave Behind

_So… I know I should continue my other already-started stories and I promise I will soon!_

_But lately I came up with the idea, and needed to write it down, because I find it really upsetting there is lack of new chapters or new fanfics lately Not nice guys!_

_Anyways here is the story ;) Thanks again to my wonderful editor **Bellamodel1** :* _

_Enjoy!_

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_**"It took me less than half a lifetime to realize that regret is one of the few guaranteed certainties. Sooner or later everything is touched by it, despite our naive and sensless hope that just this time we will be spared its cold hand on our heart"**_

_**J. Carroll**_

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**1. All That You Can't Leave Behind.**

It was almost a year since She left Michael in London. Too many times she looked back on that moment, wondering if things would be different, if she would do it differently. She should've seen that coming. But Back then she still hoped things would be good between them. She thought Michael just needed some time on his own to figure everything out. She wanted to give him space. But instead they were just slowly moving away from each other. She was wondering when exactly was the moment which sealed their fate? Was it when she left him on the street not turning back? The Day When he stopped telling her that he misses her on the phone? Or simply when she stopped calling and he never called back. If she could do something. Then would it change anything? She will probably never have an answer to that. They haven't seen each other for almost a year, haven't heard from each other for more than six months, And contrary to common beliefs it was not getting easier with time passing by. She still couldn't sleep at night wondering where He was right now. Is he okay? Is he happy with Cassandra and Max? Did he already forgot about Me? No. She can't think about it now. She needs to focus.

She pulled on her leather pants and loaded her gun. She needs to be ready when Birkhoff has a match. They were closing in on the last guardian. They spent months on locating him, combed out continents and when they finally found him they couldn't believe he was hiding so close. Southern Michigan. Right under their noses. Since he was holding the last remaining black box, Percy devoted incredible amount of resources in order to make sure this one would stay intact. Owen managed to put a tracker in the guardian's car few weeks ago. Since then they were following his moves and waited for a perfect moment to strike. They had one and only one chance to make it right and didn't want to waste it.

Today was the day. The Guardian had left his previous safe house and headed to Detroit. They decided to strike there. New surroundings, where He wasn't feeling secure yet was going to give them the advantage.

- Aah, Nikki? –she heard him from downstairs and quickly left the bedroom. "Just in time" -she thought.

- Do you have him?

- Well not yet. but I think we have a visitor at the front gate.

- Who is it? she was surprised. Owen would be here in less than a week, Alex and Sean were in Greece checking on her mother. Impossible that any of them changed plans.

- I believe It's Michael

- Before she had a chance to react the door had opened and she saw him. She was imagining that moment so many times that right now she didn't know how to react. She stared at him speechless. He hasn't changed a bit. Except he had cut his hair shorter. His eyes had the same sparkle of life she admired. His lips the same wonderful shape she loved to kiss. He was holding a bag in his hand. It hadn't escaped Nikita's attention it was not a big one. Rather one for a short visit than returning for good.

-Hi. – Michael said . Birkhoff simply nodded unable to speak. He was surprised seeing him here too. Nikita cleared her throat and asked

-Michael? … What are you doing here?

-I'm back.

-Yeah, I can see that. Why are you back? She crossed her arms on her abdomen.

-I wanted to see you.

-And just because of that you traveled across the ocean. Wow… I'm impressed.

First shock passed, Now anger came to the surface.

- Can we… talk? He reduced the distance between them and lowered his voice.

-It's not a good idea right now. I'm pretty busy- she gave him cold gaze.

-Please don't be like that…

- I'm saying the truth. Birkhoff is following the last guardian on satellites. Once he has the location I strike. I have to be ready….

-Wait- he interrupted her-you are going to take the guardian down on your own?

-I'm not going to "chit-chat" with him, it will be a surgical strike. Are you sure you want to lecture me about a strategy Michael? I'm gonna ask you again. What are you doing here? He was just about to respond when Birkhoff interrupted:

-Ummm Nikki, sorry to interrupt but I have a match. Your black box buddy is on the outskirts of Detroit.

-See? I gotta go– she passed him grabbing the bag with guns and surveillance equipment.

-Wait…

She turned around and looked at him.

-I'm going with you.

* * *

_And? What do you think? I know this is not much and it doesn't show where the story leads yet but maybe this is a good thing? We'll see_

_If you like it I promise next chapter tomorrow cause I have a "draft" already, please review xD_


	2. Suddenly Everything Has Changed

_As promised I'm posting the second chapter, it is short but always something, Enjoy ;)_

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**_"People who truly love us can be divided into two categories: those who understand us, and those who forgive us our worst sins. Rarely do you find someone capable of both."_**

**_― Jonathan Carroll_**

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**2. Suddenly Everything Has Changed**

The ride was long and silent. Nikita was driving fast, focused on the road. Although Michael had so many questions he wanted to ask her he didn't want to do it right now. He could feel how angry she was and he was certain it wouldn't be hard to start a fight right now. There will be time for them to talk. When the emotions will lower. He knew she was surprised with his sudden reappearance. He surprised himself as well. He was thinking about going back for a long time, but was afraid what he would find. He made mistakes. They both did. But he hoped it was not too late for them to make up for lost time. As for now he chose the safe question to ask:

-So…. What's the plan?

-Guardian's name is Mason Dale. Birkhoff said he checked in the River Walk Hotel. We go there, find the guardian, grab the box, destroy it and run. –she answered keeping her sight on the road.

-Hell of a plan. –He smirked

- Hey, I didn't ask you for help, you offered it yourself, so either way you stay silent and do what I say or you can go back to London.

"Not so safe question after all" Silence again.

-How is Max? –she asked suddenly.

-He is.. okay… -Michael was choosing words carefully. He started school in September. He is very proud.

-You must be proud too.

-Yeah I am. He is a smart kid.

-And Cassandra?

-She is trying to transfer from field agent to office. She doesn't want to risk so much with Max being around.

-Oh… good.

-How is Alex doing?

-She's fine. She in Greece with Sean now. They are visiting her mother.

-Wait…her mother? I thought she was dead

-She did too. But it turned out she was still living in their old house in Russia with Sergei Semak who hired Division to kill the Udinov family.

-And Sean? Did you mean Sean Pierce? The Sean Pierce who was sent by Oversight to keep an eye on Amanda? Since when was He on our side?

-Since He tried to kill me and I helped him rescue his mother. By the way, Amanda is no longer running Division. Percy is back on the board.

-Wow… when did all this happen? –he was shocked.

-You were gone for a long time Michael. Many things have changed.

Michael looked at her trying to figure out what she meant. He had a weird sensation that she wasn't only talking about Alex and Percy.


	3. Places You Have Come to Fear the Most

**3. The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most**

They were sitting on this god damn bench for two hours now. To most of the people walking by, they were just an average couple enjoying the sun on a Monday afternoon in the city. They were sipping coffee from plastic cups and trying to look relaxed. Nikita's facial muscles were getting stiff from smiling. She was anxious since Mason Dale walked out of his hotel and took a trip to the supermarket. She felt like something was going wrong.

-What is He doing in there so long?- she said more to herself than to Michael. Then she turned to Birkhoff.

-Birkhoff, when He left hotel He went to the local supermarket. He's been in there for more than 30 minutes now. Can you tap into their surveillance to see what's going on?

-No problem

-I think we should go inside. –Michael suggested

-Michael we not going in there. This might be a trap. We will wait him out.

-We might loose our only shot to get him.

-Yeah, but at least we will still be alive.

-Since when are you the voice of reason?

-Spare me Michael…

I just Looove how you guys are working things out. Good times. –the voice in their ears laughed

-Nerd just run it through okay? – Nikita snapped back angrily.

-No need. –Michael said- He is leaving. They watched him walking out of the store and disappearing around a corner. They waited until he would be at a safe distance and slowly followed him.

As it quickly turned out He was walking through the town aimlessly.

Mason Dale looked like he was strolling around town like a typical tourist. Except he was not a tourist. But, a perfect and cold-blooded killer who was carrying out his deadly plan. Deadly to the people who tried to interrupt his mission. He noticed the couple following him a long time ago.

-What the hell is He doing? – Nikita was off the track. He was definitely up to something. Or they were spotted. She started getting more anxious. Nikita's intuition told her to get as far from here as they could. She had a bad feeling.

"Run" –said a little voice in her head.

"Run before it's too late" It was getting louder as their target was leading them on the outskirts of the Town.

A Man in a black coat turned right, into the alley. They kept a safe distance and then did the same thing. The moment they entered the alley she knew it was already too late.


	4. The Trick is to Keep Breathing

_Time for update :D This one is longer, hope you enjoy it, as always thanks to my editor :*_

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**4. "The Trick is to Keep Breathing"**

There was no one in the alley.

-Where the hell did he go? They instantly took out their guns and turned the safety off.

Suddenly silence was broken by the firing of a bullet. Pieces of concrete spattered as the bullet hit the wall behind them passing inches from Nikita's head. They both ducked and hid behind a car.

-"He spotted us." Nikita still felt ringing in her left ear.

-Where can he be? Michael looked around quickly.

-I bet on that one- he pointed to a large 4-story red brick building across the street. It was abandoned, windows mostly broken, perfect place to hide.

-we are trapped.– Nikita said with panic in her voice. "This is blind alley, only way we could get out of here is walking by that building, He played this well".

-What do we do now? –Nikita asked. Michael heard the sound of panic in her voice.

-We need a distraction. Something that will buy us some time to pass that building.

Michael leaned out from behind the vehicle when another shot rang. Nikita pulled him down quickly

- If by distraction you mean getting your head shot off, it is a really bad idea.

- He is definitely in that building. He was by her side again.

- Birkhoff can you get us out of here?"

- Just a sec. I am closing in on you on the satellites. I will have a visual in a minute.

- Hurry. We have less than that.

Back at the safe house Birkhoff was working on getting the picture of the alley they were trapped in. His hands were rushing through the keyboard. There was nothing he couldn't hack. A smile of triumph appeared on his face as He accomplished the task.

-Got it! -He started analyzing the pictures. The smile died on His face when He saw how bad the situation was.

-Holy crap guys you are so screwed….

-Thanks for reminding us nerd. Any bright ideas how we can pass him by?

-Working on it.

-How much amo do you got? - Michael asked her

-Not much. Why?

-We need to blow up a car. It won't be perfect but should buy us some time. It has to be that one. -He pointed to a blue Dodge across the street. We will shoot at it until it explodes then run to those cars -He pointed at a few vehicles parked nearby.

-Sounds like a plan –Nikita nodded. If they could reach there, they would almost be free. It was out of range from person being in the red brick building. -I'll do it. Cover me. – she said and leaned out from a car and emptied her magazine into a blue Dodge. She was aiming at the gas container. It blew up instantly. Thick black smoke covered the street. It was their only chance. Shots were still being fired as they stood and rushed through the street.

Nikita ran as fast as she could. Michael one step behind her. They could still hear that Dale was shooting blindly due to the smoke. Almost there. Nikita saw the cars closing in. Just a few more meters. Suddenly she heard a scream and a body falling. She turned around and saw Michael laying on the ground. He was pressing his hand to his upper right chest.

-No… -she whispered and rushed back to him opening her fire to the building from which deadly shots came from.

-Michael? -She looked back down at him with horror- "Michael, Michael look at me –she knelt down beside him- You're going to be okay. -Blood was slipping through his fingers. He was paler than she had ever seen.

-We need to get out of here. Can you walk? – Nikita helped him to get up. Michael's face twisted in pain as he rested on her shoulder. They rushed to the car. The smoke was fading. Few more minutes and they will be back on plate.

-Nikki? What is going on? –she heard a voice say in her ear.

-Michael is hit, we need to get out of here. She broke the silver Chevy window and opened the door. Nikita put Michael in the passenger seat and she sat behind a wheel. The street was silent. No shooting. Either way he hit at them or he was just looking for a better angle to shoot them. Anyway they needed to go. She struggled for a while with the wires to turn the engine on. She started to panic.

"Focus" – Nikita ordered herself. She needed to get them out of this hell. She felt relieved when she finally heard it running. She pulled out fast.

Then she realized She had no idea where they were. They had left their car near the hotel and this one had no GPS that could help her get out of this damn town. She cursed under her breath.

- Birkhoff? We are in a car with no navigation system. Lead me out of here.

-jeez. Why do people still keep cars like this? This is just wrong…

–Birkhoff talk to me!

-aah yeah… -She heard him attacking the keyboard- "turn left. Go straight until the traffic lights, pass them, go straight again…." –He was instructing her. As she reached the Highway she relaxed a little bit. It should be easier from now on. They were away from town traffic and she could finally speed up.

-Are you holding on? -she turned to Michael. He was white, pale, and was breathing heavily.

-I'm trying. He whispered

She pushed the gas pedal harder. The journey was long. For Nikita it lasted forever. She was checking on Michael constantly making sure he was still conscious. They were almost home when she saw he was starting to give up. Nikita yelled at him.

-"Don't you dare start passing out now Michael. We are almost there. 15 more minutes. Hold on." Hold on.


	5. To Wish Impossible Things

Hello everyone:D This time I tried to make it longer and I think it worked. Thanks to my Editor:* Enjoy ;)

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_**"No great love ever really ends. We can shoot it with a gun or stick it in the back of the darkest closet of our hearts, but it's clever; it knows how to survive. It can find its way out and shock us by reappearing when we were so damn sure it was dead or at least safely hidden beneath piles of other things."**_

_**Jonathan Carroll**_

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_******5. To Wish Impossible Things**_

The water running in the sink was turning scarlet red as she was washing Michael's blood from her hands. Nikita felt drained. This was too much to bare in one day. First, Michael comes out of nowhere and turns all her peace and balance she tried to keep so hard upside down and not long after that He gets shot. She has never been more scared than when she saw him lying there bleeding on the pavement.

She shouldn't have let him go on this mission…

"He will be okay." Nikita turned around surprised hearing a familiar voice. It was Birkhoff. He was standing in the entrance to the bathroom.

"I know He will." She tried to smile but it didn't look honest. She was too tense and worried about Michael right now. "Are you okay nerd?"

"Yeah… I've had terrible food poisoning. I think the lobster I ate yesterday must have been spoiled or something you know…. But I'm all right now. Crisis is gone." He tried to hide his weakness but she knew better. This time a real smile appeared on her face but she did her best hiding it. It was not food poisoning. She knew Birkhoff wouldn't be very helpful the moment He saw Michael covered with blood on the car seat. Nerd tried to play brave but He almost fainted when He was helping Nikita carry Michael inside the house. When they laid Michael in bed and she started patching him up he vanished saying he was not feeling well. Actually She was relieved he was gone. Last thing Nikita needed were two unconscious men to rescue.

Nikita took a quick shower, warm water on her stressed body was a huge relief. She put on clean clothes, brushed her hair and went back to the guest bedroom where Michael was sleeping right now. She covered Him tightly with a blanket. He was going to need a lot of rest to recover. But he would be ok. She sat by his bed and watched him. The wound wasn't that serious, but He had lost a lot of blood. Michael was scarily pale and his breathing was shallow. But he was alive.

She won't let him die. Not now when there was a possibility that she got him back.

Nikita sat on the armchair near the bed. The room was mildly lighted by the setting sun.

"Luckily this day is coming to an end." She sighed with relief. What else could go wrong? They were so close to ending this fight. And now the Black box is gone. Michael is wounded. A month of preparations for nothing. They need to come up with a new plan quickly. But she didn't feel like doing it right now. There was someone she cared about and worried about, more important than bringing down Division.

She was sitting there. looking at him, checking his pulse, and drip every ten minutes. Night has passed and he was still unconscious. Nikita tried to get some sleep but it didn't work. She didn't know if it was this unbelievably uncomfortable armchair or too many thoughts and concerns on her mind. She gave up on sleeping and just sat there and looked at Michael.

Only Two days ago she wouldn't have expected she would ever see him again.

What happened to them? She never loved someone more than she loved Michael. She thought they were invincible, that they would always be together. And here they are. Life is full of surprises.

"Nikki?" –her thoughts were interrupted by Birkhoff who entered the room. "Alex and Sean called. I told them what happened, they are on the first flight here in the morning. I can trade you places if you want to eat something or get some sleep?" He asked.

"Thanks Nerd. But I want to wait until he wakes up."

"I knew I wouldn't be able to change your mind but it was worth a try. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." she promised.

She spent 8 more hours by His bed until he finally woke up.

Michael opened his eyes and looked around the room. He didn't seem to recall how he got here. He tried to get up but pain pierced through his arm and he groaned with pain.

"Don't." Nikita rushed to him and helped him to lay back on the pillows. "Just lay down for now."

"Hi…" Michael said weakily but his eyes sparkled seeing her.

"Hi.." she smiled to him. "I'm glad you're awake."

"How long I've been out?"

"Almost 24 hours. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot." He winced in pain. His arm was sore and he was dizzy from the painkillers. "What about the box? We lost it didn't we?"

"We will find another way. Now you need to recover. I'll give you something to ease off the pain." She turned back to grab a syringe.

"I don't need painkillers I'm fine." He claimed

"Yeah I can see that." She smiled lightly and stuck his arm with a needle.

"Aaugh.. ow!" he winced with pain. "Thank God you are not a nurse."

"You will live." she smirked. "Now sleep. You need to rest." She stroked his cheek as he was falling asleep again.

* * *

The next morning when Michael woke up He noticed he was alone in the room. He felt disappointed. He wished she was here. But getting out of the bed and looking for her was a bad idea. He felt like he wouldn't be able to reach the door, not to mention making in down the stairs. Feeling weak was something Michael wasn't used to. It was quite frustrating.

"Good morning," the door opened and he saw the person he was waiting for. "thought you would be hungry." Nikita was carrying the tray filled with favorable smelling food. She placed it on the bed and turned around to check on his drip-bag.

God, I almost forgot how beautiful she is. He thought to himself.

"You know, It was worth getting shot to have a nurse like you." he spoke

Nikita smiled, her back still turned to him.

He is such a tease. she thought to herself

"Really? Not long ago you said I would be a terrible one." she recalled

"Perspectives can change when you are not pointing a needle at me."

"You know I still have plenty of needles. And if you think your personal charm will save you from another shot you are wrong." –She sat on the edge of the bed by his side.

"It was worth a try…." Michael looked at the tray full of delicious looking and smelling food. He was really hungry, but he'd been wanting to talk to her since the moment he got back and there was still something in the way. This was the opportunity for some explanations and questions he wanted to ask. Breakfast can wait.

"Nikita I wanted to talk… about us." He said

"You should eat your meal." Her voice changed suddenly. It was no longer casual but sad and tense.

"Nikita…" He said wonderingly

"What?"

Michael was staring blindly at the plate full of many thoughts, too little words to describe them.

"What happened to us?" He looked at her. It was a question bothering both of them but Nikita didn't know if this was the right time to discuss it.

"I don't know Michael…. We went separate ways, That happens sometimes. You wanted to have a family. Something you could never have here with me. So you left."

"No it's not like that."

"Yes it is. I knew it then and I know it now. You miss them all the time. Elizabeth and Haley. And when you had a chance to have a family again you took it. I will never understand it because I never had a family so I can't judge you." She explained

Sometimes Michael had an impression Nikita was a mind reader. It was scary most of the time. She knew his soul better than he did. He could try to hide something from the outside world but never from her.

"I'm so sorry…." He murmered.

"Don't be. You have to stay here a couple of days until your arm is healed and I'm able to take out the stiches, then you are free to go back to London." she wanted to get up but he grabbed her hand keeping her close.

"Why are you like this?" He asked.

"Like what?" She responded unsure.

"Cold and distant. I want to clear things between us. I want it to be like it used to."

"I don't know if we can go back there Michael. Too much has happened." She lowered her head avoiding Michael's gaze. She was so close and so far away in the same time.

"Let's try." Michael raised her chin with his thumb and kissed her lips. So much time has passed since the last time they kissed, but he didn't forget for a moment how incredible she tastes. Michael felt Nikita's surprise but she kissed him back. He knew she wanted him as much as he wants her. They both forgot about everything and just focused on that moment. In this one kiss they were telling how much they missed each other. Michael's hand went to her blouse strap to take it off.

"Don't…." she whispered and broke the kiss still touching his forehead with hers. He could see Nikita fighting with herself.

"You know we both want this." Michael whispered into her mouth.

"No we don't." she pulled her hand from his grip, stood up quickly, and left. closing the door behind her.

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_Ha! Not so quick guys! Few more chapters until they will finally be back together. (I'm horrible I know;) ) Let me know what you think!_


	6. The Space In Between

_Yay, another chapter;) This is probably the longest one I ever written, but you guys deserve it!_

_Thank you for all those kind words and tips! Keep being so awesome xd_

_In my story senator Pierce isn't dead, cause there was no incident with Brandt. But This is my version of this tv show so I can kill and revive whoever I want! Ha! You should start to be worried;) Hugs for my editor!:*_

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_**6. The Space in Between**_

_**"Heart and Mind rarely lie at the same time. "**_

_**Jonathan Carroll.**_

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Move.

You can do that.

Come on one foot in front of another.

Nikita couldn't force herself to move. Too much strength it costed her not to go back there and leap into his arms. She was still leaning against the door to Michael's bedroom unable to move.

"You know we both want that."

"No we don't."

She cried quietly. Liar. She wanted that. Badly. She loved him so much that it hurt. But there was too much grief and understatements between them. Too much had happened. And there was also Cassandra and Max. His new life. She just couldn't do it….

Her feet were walking down the corridor to her bedroom but her heart and soul screamed that she has to go back to him. Not the first time she shut them down. Just like she shut the door of Michael's bedroom a few minutes ago.

* * *

"Where is Nikita?"

Michael asked immediately when the door to his bedroom had opened the next morning and he saw Birkoff instead of her. He spent all night thinking how He would apologize for yesterday. How could He be so stupid? He blew it. They were so close to getting on the right track again and he ruined it with one impulsive excess. But when Nikita was around he couldn't think clearly.

"Nice to see you too buddy. She is in the field. With Owen."

He placed the tray of food by his bed.

"Don't worry I didn't cook it. Didn't want to poison you. Nikita prepared it and asked me to deliver it for her."

"Owen is here?" Michael ignored his previous comment.

"Yeah he came here in the morning but they left immediately, Senator Pierce called them. They are tracking the box again."

"Senator Pierce?"

"It is a long story. A lot has changed since you left Mikey." Birhoff explained

"Yeah.. I've heard that before."

"Listen buddy…." Birkhoff sat on the edge of the chair and gave him a serious look. "It is none of my business but did something happen between you two? Nikki acted weird since yesterday morning and I could have swore she cried."

* * *

"So… How are things between you and Michael?" Nikita heard Owen's voice.

They were on a surveillance mission, watching a contact which hopefully would bring them to the guardian and the box. They were sitting in the car across the street and observing his villa. She was doing her best focusing on the job and forgetting about Michael for a few hours but apparently Owen was not going to make it easy.

"I don't know."

Owen shook his head. Secretive as always.

He saw something wrong the moment he stepped into the Beach House. Between one of Birkhoff's questions and Nikita's quick and nervous replies it turned out to be Michael was back. But things were not easy between them. He could see how tense and sad she was.

"Come on. You have to talk to someone. We are friends remember? You can trust me."

"It is not about trust Owen. I just don't know where we stand right now. it's complicated."

"You love him, he loves you. What is complicated about that?"

"It's…. Just drop it ok? We need to focus on the Mission Owen. We can't loose another chance."

"Ok, whatever. What is the plan?"

* * *

"What is your plan?"

"My plan for what?"

"For Nikki. I mean… If you are planning on spending a week or two here and then going back to London It would be better if you didn't come back at all. I don't want to see her in such bad shape again. She was a mess buddy. It took her months to get back on the right track. And now I'm afraid it may happen again. You can't keep hurting her like that."

"I would never hurt her. you know that. I came back for good. I don't want to leave. But I don't know if I still have something to hold on to here."

"You need to give her some time Mikey. You have to understand it is not easy for her. Things got crazy when you left last time."

"I didn't leave she told me to stay there."

"Of course she did. She always does "the right thing" She saw how torn you were between her and Cassandra and Max, she didn't want to keep you here against your will. but she hoped you would come back. She needed you. She was pretty shaken up with the whole thing but she would never admit it. You know how tough she is. But these are just appearances, she is trying to pretend to be the tougher one. I just want you to know I want you two to get back together but you need to play it right buddy. It is a very fragile situation." Birkoff cleared his throat noticing how awkward it looks when he is giving Michael relationship advice.

"How are you feeling by the way?"

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

"Owen seriously? If I need a therapy session I will come to you. My feelings are fine as always."

"You always say you are fine. But I can see how sad and tense you are. And I know it is not about the mission."

He will never let that go. She sighed.

"I just don't know if we can fix things between us. If Michael is the same person I fell in love with and if I am the same person that fell in love with him."

"Of course you are not. Everybody changes. But the question is: are you changing in the same direction or the opposite one?"

She looked at Owen with reflection. Sometimes he was really clever.

* * *

"My arm is fine . But the rest feels strange actually. I don't know what to think. She is so close and so far away from me at the same time. It is like she is not the same person anymore."

"Of course she is. You Just have to give her some time. And don't go anywhere."

"Thanks for advice. Sometimes You are a genius Birkoff." he said sarcastically.

"Oh I know that. Ok, I need to get back to my computers in case they need my help."

"Help me up." -Michael tried to get up from bed- "I'm going with you."

"Are you sure you wanna do that? Nikki will have my a** when she gets back and sees you're out of bed. I was supposed to watch you."

"You will watch me downstairs. What is the difference if I sit here or in a chair in the living room and help you at the same time?"

"Well…." -Birkoff wasn't fully convinced. He looked at Michael with sympathy. He expected his head being wacked for that but what the hell. He would go nuts if he would have to lay all day in this bed.

"Ok, just sit tight and don't speak when the coms are turned on." he warned Michael as he helped him sit on the chair next to his.

"Hi guys how is it going?" – he sat in his place and turned on the speaker

"So far so good." Owen said. "What took you so long? We are going in. Can you locate his bodyguards right now?" owen asked.

"Give me a minute….. Yeah two in the front and one in the back. Basic armament I think. Piece of cake for you two."

"Ok, Owen You take those two in the front I go to the back and we meet inside"

"It would be easier if you would take them down without personal confrontation." –Michael interjected.- Best way would be distant shots simultaneously in the front and in the back. You won't risk them having time to alert someone and everything will go quiet. Remember to use silencers."

"Good point" Owen said- "But I get the ones in front. Back is yours." –he smirked at Nikita and left the car before she had time to protest.

"Michael?" Men in the beach house heard Nikita's sharp voice.- "What the hell are you doing there? Birkoff! You were supposed to watch him!"

Birkoff gave Michael murderous look.

"Relax Nikki I have my eyes on him. But he looked like he could use some exercise."

* * *

Nikita closed her eyes and sighed. She let her head rest carelessly on the headrest. Owen was driving so she could relax.

It was a good day. Mission turned out successful One more time. they were close to tracking the last box. Hope filled her again. There is still a chance to finish this fight once and for all. With her eyes still closed Nikita listened to the quiet music coming from the car's radio. They were going home. No matter how tough things were knowing that she has somewhere to go back to and that there is someone waiting for her always made her feel better.

What she didn't know was that there was one more surprise waiting for her today.

When she stepped in the house she heard a familiar voices so long unheard. She rushed to the living room to find out where they were coming from.

"Alex!" she called as she saw the young girl walking down the stairs. She was talking to someone upstairs and she was smiling. Nikita instantly noticed that she hasn't seen that big and honest smile on her face for a while. Birkhoff as usual was sitting at his computers doing an update. He avoided her gaze and pretended to be very occupied.

"Nikita! I missed you!" –Alex hugged her. Then not far after her appeared the person she was talking to.

"Hi." Sean nodded with a smile. Nikita grinned back to him and asked

"When did you got back? You were supposed to be here yesterday."

"I know, we were stuck in Paris, there was some trouble with the plan and Sean thought this is an exceptionally romantic coincidence and we should use it. So we thought one more day won't be an issue. I see you are doing great without us! Birkhoff told me today went well." –Alex explained.

"Yes but it's good to have you back. Owen is already driving me crazy."

"Hey, I'm here." Owen said with his mouth full of apple. He normally didn't consider vegetables and fruits as potential meal but now he was so hungry he instantly grabbed an apple from the basket on the dining table. It wasn't that bad but if there won't be any steak tonight he will go nuts.

Nikita gave him a wink.

"So…" Alex looked around. "the gang is complete now. Michael is back, we are back. We can do so much more together. Just like old times."

"Yeah but Michael is not really in shape yet… I think he is off the schedule for now."

"He looked well when I saw him. He was helping out Birkhoff and looked like He was enjoying it."

"About that." An evil smile appeared on Nikita's face- "Nerd we got to talk. What were you thinking letting him out of the bed?"

* * *

Nikita was going to the bathroom upstairs and stopped by the guest bedroom for a moment. Quiet.

She carefully opened the door not wanting to make noise and peeked inside. Michael was sleeping. His chest was rhythmically raising and lowering with his deep breaths. Good. She was not ready for a confrontation yet. She closed the door as silent as before.

Hot water made her feel better. She washed all the dirt and stress of the day of her and even stayed a little bit longer enjoying hot water running on her tired body. Yeah, it was a good day.

Finally clean and relaxed Nikita went downstairs and saw Alex sitting alone on the couch. She was staring ahead definitely lost in thoughts.

"Hey." Nikita touched her arm bringing her back to the real world. "Where is everybody?"

"Owen was driving everyone mad about a steak so the boys went to order some food. They Should be back soon. I told them to get some salad for you."

"Thanks". - She looked at the girl with a smile and sat by her side.. Alex was glowing. Sean makes her happy for sure. At last she had someone who will take care of her. And she had her mother back. Finally something good happened in her life.

"So…. How is your mom?"

"Better. We are making up for the lost time. She really likes Sean and Greece." -she laughed.- "Especially Greece. Climate is definitely friendlier than in Russia. She can't get enough of flowers there."

"And how are things between you and Sean?" she asked casually

"Good… perfect actually. I am very happy. And Greece was amazing. We had some…. Quality time together. I felt so careless there. With my mom and Sean. I could get used to that you know. Live in a place like that. I mean when this fight with Division will be over I think we will go there for good."

"We?" -Nikita laughed- "If you are planning your future with him this means it is serious. I'm glad. You both deserve it." – she put her hand on top of Alex's hand and squeezed it gently . "Why didn't you stay there longer?"

"We have some unfinished business here as you know." -she said-. "Besides I was really surprised hearing that Michael is back. How are stuff between you two?"

"Everybody asks me that and I really don't know the answer. But I'm starting to be afraid that it is really over."

"I don't believe it. You guys are meant to be."

"Yeah I thought so too." -She smiled bleakly

"Come on… Everything will be ok! I'm sure it will. I give you a week."-

"Four days." Sean entered the room holding two big bags. Owen and Birkhoff behind him. Delicious smell of grilled meat and vegetables filled the room.

"For what?"

"For sleeping together." –He placed the bags on the kitchen counter and Alex continued:

"We all made a bet that you won't be able to stand being under the same roof and not in the same bed for long. Apparently Birkhoff is the biggest believer and he is convinced you are already sleeping together but keeping it secret to drive us crazy."

"Oh shut up." –Nikita stood up and hid a smile. If it was only that simple….

* * *

_I must say I'm pretty proud of that one. I enjoyed writing it._

_There is not much of Mikita but I hope you liked it anyways. I tried and will try to add more Salex. Take care and review! :D_


	7. My Way Home is Through You

_Hey guys,__summer is coming to an end school year is dangerously close, and I am sinking into "Nikita's" world more and more! This show is amazing, and the premiere in the middle of October is pure cruelty!__So in the meantime here is the next chapter! Enjoy ;)_

* * *

**7. My Way Home is Through You**

_**"One of the saddest realities is that we never know when our lives are at their peak. Only after it is over and we have some kind of perspective do we realize how good we had it a day, a month, five years ago. "**_

_**― Jonathan Carroll**_

* * *

As always Nikita woke up early today. She somehow enjoyed these moments when the sky was so pure and vivid during the sunrise and when the house was unnaturally quiet. It was usually filled with the constant humming of computers and occasional quarrels which were unavoidable when 4 people tried to live under one roof.

She felt happiness knowing that the team was back together again. Plus one if you count Owen- who lately was spending more and more time here in between missions. He had definitely become attached to them.

While walking downstairs she decided to make everyone a special breakfast. A big one. Four men in one house was a challenge. Obviously everyone had different tastes in food but they were all crazy about her casserole with tofu and vegetable.

Onions and carrots were already sizzling and Nikita was slicing the cucumber when she heard movement from behind her. She turned around quickly with the knife in her hand.

-"Easy"- she saw Michael with his arms up posing surrender. One was a little bit lower than the other due to his injury.

-"Michael… you scared me. What are you doing out of bed?"

-"I heard noises from the kitchen and it smells just amazing."-he pointed to the frying pan. –"What are you doing up so early?"

-"Breakfast."-she answered simply looking at him as he was standing by the table, holding the edge with effort. –"Sit down. You shouldn't walk around like that. You could pull the stitches."

He sat carefully on the nearest chair and smirked. –"Who knew you could cook?"

-"Shut up." – she smiled and got back to slicing cucumber.

-"How did it go yesterday?" –Michael asked.

-"Surprisingly good. We're on the right track to getting the box back." – she was slowly stirring the food on the pan. – "The contact from yesterday gave us some names. We don't know if they're valuable but Owen will check them later."

-"Oh.. that's good. So... you and Owen are getting along well?"– Michael tried to sound natural but he wasn't able to hide this hint of jealousy in his voice. The hint which Nikita caught instantly.

She grinned. He was getting jealous. She decided to tease him a little.

-"Yeah, we are a great team. I feel very comfortable with Owen around. No one understands me better than him." - Nikita had to bite her lip not to burst out laughing.

-"Funny cause not so long ago you said I was driving you crazy." –Owen just entered the kitchen. He was wearing his jogging clothes. He was about to go for a run and came in when he heard noises from the kitchen. At the exact moment they started talking about him.

Nikita threw a kitchen towel in his direction but his great reflexes caused him to duck immediately so the towel hit the fridge behind him.

-"Owen, you always spoil the fun."- Nikita said.

-"Oh my God, is that your tofu casserole?"–Owen said, peeking into the frying pan.

-"Yes it is and I would be nice if I were you . You can starve for all I care. I heard you had a lovely conversation with Birkoff yesterday."

Nikita chuckled at Owen's embarrassed expression. – "Nerd has a big mouth."-she explained.

-"I totally take back everything nasty I said about you yesterday." – Owen announced, telling himself never to confide in Birkoff again.

Michael watched this scene with smile on his face. Although he wouldn't admit it, he was relieved that there was nothing serious between them. Suddenly everything became easier and lighter.

-"Let me help you with that."– he offered, as she was taking plates out from the cabinet.

- "You don't have to. Everything is ready. Sit down boys."

-"Alex and Sean won't eat with us?"–Michael asked.

- "I think they have better ways of spending the Saturday morning than eating" – she said with smile.

* * *

After breakfast Owen went jogging and Nikita disappeared to the gym. She needed a spar to clear her mind. But even workout didn't bring her relief she was looking for.

She did her best but it was clearly not her day .Many of her kicks and hits lost the target. She was getting frustrated and it turned out even worse. She just couldn't do it right. She tried again and again until she lost her breath completely.

-"Damn it. I can't focus."-Nikita cursed and lowered herself trying to catch a breath when she heard a voice coming from behind.

- "You were clearly out of practice while I was gone." -it was Michael.

-"You wish."- she smirked and rose. –"You have a nasty habit of creeping in from behind. You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days."

-"Sorry…. "– he smiled with that charming smile of his that Nikita couldn't resist.

-"What's up?"- she asked taking off her training gloves.

-"Everyone disappeared…. I thought you would be there. I have something I need to tell you. "

-"Go ahead"- she encouraged him grabbing a bottle with water.

-"I'm sorry…. About before…. I shouldn't have…."–they both knew he was talking about their last kiss.

-"It's ok. I'm sorry too. We both overreacted."- Nikita didn't want him to end the sentence. It would bring more memories. The ones which came right now were so vivid and real that she had to blink several times to get rid of them.

Michael nodded clenching his mouth. There was clearly something else he wanted to say.

-"There is one more thing… You were right. About the reason why I stayed in London. I deluded myself thinking that Cassandra and Max somehow would fill in for my family." –He paused for a moment trying to find proper words for what he was about to say. – "But I realized quickly that it was a mistake because you are my family. I know I screwed up but I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes cause I love you. I always will. "– He said and left closing the door behind leaving her stunned , and even more messed up in the head than she already was.

* * *

Michael rolled from one side to another in bed trying to sleep. His arm was throbbing but he preferred that to the painkillers. He looked at the alarm clock near the bed -1.23 a.m.

Nikita wasn't able to sleep knowing he was just next door. She was thinking about what he had said earlier. She wished she would have gone after him then and said that she loved him too and can't stand this distance between them. But she just stayed there staring at the door unable to move.

Suddenly she heard noises from the bedroom Michael was sleeping in. He was awake too. She decided to check on him. More likely it was just an excuse to go there but what the hell. She got up quickly, just putting on a bathrobe over her lacy pajamas and left her bedroom.

-"What are you doing?"– she asked, standing at the door of his room tying up the belt of her bathrobe.

-"I accidentally knocked the bottle off."– Michael was bending down trying to collect the scattered pills on the floor.

-"Leave it. You'll pull out your stitches." –She rushed to him to help.

-"You should have called me."- she said throwing the last few pills into the bottle and placing it on the table.

-"I thought you were asleep." – Michael explained.

-"You know I have trouble sleeping."- she smiled lightly.

-"Do you want some?"- she pointed to the bottle with painkillers.

-"You know I hate them. They make me dizzy."– Michael looked at her. Her thin lacy pajamas were protruding from under her bathrobe. Her hair were tousled which made her look hotter than ever.

- "How are your stitches?"– Nikita asked.

-„Fine. A little itchy, actually. "

-"Show me"- she sat on the edge of the bed and helped him take off his shirt. She took off the bandages and examined the wound. –"It's healing nicely. I'll change the dressing."

She could see he is doing his best not to wince when she was wiping the wound with a gaze moistened with peroxide. She hold back her smile but his face expression was priceless.

Typical man. Never will admit he might be in pain.

She was holding his arm while disinfecting the wound. The feeling of his bare skin brought up many memories. She blinked to make them disappear and stay focused on changing the dressing. It was hard to do. It required incredible strength of will to ignore his body being so close and so pleasantly warm, his scent so overpowering. While putting on a new bandage, Nikita held her hand a little too long on his chest. Shivers ran down her spine.

Then she did something which sealed her fate. She raised her eyes to meet his. Nikita immediately sank in those deep green eyes of his. Suddenly all the composure and indifference she tried to build past few days collapsed. She moved her face closer to his gently stroking his cheek when their lips met in a gentle kiss. Cautious at first quickly turned into passionate one expressing all the longing and lust they felt . Nikita wrapped her hands around his neck pulling him closer.

The distance between them was reduced to nothing. Their bodies were heated and hungry for each other. The only obstacle left was the clothes. Michael quickly untangled her bathrobe, pulling it off, leaving her only in a thin lacy pajama. His hands sank under her top caressing every inch of her body he could get to.

-"I've missed you so much." – Nikita murmured between the kisses and hugged him strongly. Too strong. Michael moaned with pain.

- "Sorry."- she whispered and lightened the hug. It was very hard to control herself.

-"I'm fine"– he started to cover her neck with kisses.

Nikita stopped him only to whisper:

-"You're wounded."

-"Not there."- he answered with a smirk, closing her mouth with a breathtaking kiss.

* * *

_And that's it! Hope you like it xD_


	8. Everything in It's Right Place

_This chapter exists only because Nolove10 made me write it! I still want that cookie girl! ;) _

_Well... I have no idea how to proceed with this story so this chapter is pretty much about nothing ;P Love the kind... _

_So, if you have any ideas on what should happen, PM me or write in review. _

_Otherwise I will end it as it is... _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**8. Everything in Its Right Place.**

"**_If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. _**

**_If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. _**

**_If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. _**

**_But I did, I do, and I will."_**

* * *

Smile was the first thing on Nikita's face and in her mind this morning.

Right before she opened her eyes, still being in the land of dreams, she felt familiar warmness next to her.

A feeling long forgotten.

Reminding herself last night her lips pulled up for a smile.

She was lying still for a while enjoying this moment. Breathing in the happiness.

She let the memories of last night unravel in her mind.

Gentle kiss on her forehead brought her back from the dreamland.

When she opened her eyes, she saw exact same thing she had been imagining moment ago. Most beautiful and beloved face with tousled brown hair and still sleepy green eyes.

_Michael._

"Good morning." he whispered.

"Very Good morning" she raised her head a bit to make their lips meet. "How are you feeling?"

"Right now I'm in heaven." Michael was tracing circles on Nikita's jaw-line.

"I'm serious Michael." she moved back a bit. His lips were so….distracting. "You should take care of yourself. It was reckless thing to do."

"I love reckless" Michael didn't like that distance and he quickly pulled her in pressing his lips against hers.

"Trust me, I will get better quicker with you by my side." He murmured between kisses.

Nikita grabbed his neck to pull him closer. When Michael felt Nikita is deepening the kiss, he moved away. He smiled mischievously seeing her sad face.

"You are such a tease." she laughed and wrapped the sheet around her. "I'm going to make breakfast. What do you want to eat? "

-"I have everything I want right here." - Michael let his fingers dance across her naked arms.

Nikita pecked his shoulder and reluctantly rose from bed. She intentionally let the sheet slide down her naked body when she was getting up. Michael smiled at this amazing view and was enjoying the view of her dancing across the room, collecting her clothes.

Though she didn't really leave yet, he already missed her. They had a lot to catch up.

"I'll be right back."she said.

"You better be!"

Nikita silently sneaked into the bathroom grabbing new clothes on her way there.

She heard noises from downstairs. What time could it be? She had somehow lost the track of time.

010

* * *

"So! What do you say dead girl?" Birkoff smirked.

"You can screw yourself, that's what I say. " Alex threw the gamepad on the couch.

"Hey,hey, princess!" Sean pecked Alex's neck.

"Oh shut up, I lost because of you! You were distracting me all the time. "

"Really? "He kissed her shoulder. "And how did I manage to do it?"

"Don't push it!" She freed herself from his embrace.

"Relax, it's just a stupid video game." Sean laughed.

"It's not a stupid video game, It's League of Legends dude! Your ignorance disqusts me." Birkoff grabbed the plate full of pancakes and poured generous amount of maple syrup on them.

"Ugh" Alex winced seeing the bronze liquid dripping on the table. Now she knew the reason why her training gloves sticked to it last week.

"What are you fighting about kids? "Nikita greeted everyone eagerly.

Just one look was enough for them to guess what is going on.

"Looks like you owe me fifty" Alex said to Birkoff "…And new training gloves"

"You wish, pretty face! Did you forgot about 100 which I won last month? That just reduces your debt. " Birkoff pointed at her with spoon. "Deamn Nikki, two more days!Is that too much to ask?" Birkoff looked really disappointed." Admit it , you did it on purpose!"

"What are you talking about guys?" Nikita asked smiling. It was the only thing she couldn't stop doing today.

"Come on… Haven't you seen yourself in the mirror yet? You are almost levitating from happiness. That happens only after good sex. "

Nikita frowned.

"_And_ it's 11. a.m. Usually you are already after breakfast and a work out. " Alex added crossing arms on her chest. " You can deny it but we know the truth. You didn't sleep at your bedroom tonight."

Nikita laughed. _God damn spies._


End file.
